Anyone That Thinks the Cardinals Have a Chance is Straight Ignoran

So, after all the smoke Belichick blew up the media's ass about how good the Cardinals D is, and how Larry Fitzgerald may go down as the best WR of all time (which is another story for another day, but he's not even top 10), people are somehow convinced the Cardinals have a chance. Ummm, last time I checked they have Kevin Kolb starting? Yeahhh, isn't he the guy that everybody in Arizona (well at least everyone in Arizona under 60, which is about 10 people) hates with a burning passion because he sucks and single-handedly set the franchise back years? He of the career 21 TDs and 22 picks? Around 80 passer rating career? (And no, I am not going to give ESPNs QBR the time of day) Subject of what many are starting to call "the worst trade of all time"? The "default" starting quarterback who lost his starting job to John Fucking Skelton despite his 63 million dollar contract and is only playing because of Skelton's injury?

Let me tell you, I am scared of THAT guy. Oh wait, no I'm not. All these fucking beat writers have been like, "oh this is going to be a good test for the Patriots." Ummm, if this is a good test, I am going to go jump off a cliff. The Cardinals blow. The only tests for the Patriots are: Texans, Ravens, Packers, 49ers, Giants, and MAYBE the Saints, Steelers, and Broncos. No other team is a test; they are just pieces of shit that the Patriots have to wash off their shoes until they make it to the test games.

"Oh, but they have Larry Fitz, and a really good defense!" Umm, their defense allowed more points than "The Worst Defense Ever" or whatever the Pats defense was called by many in the league last year. Yes. Read that again. They allowed MORE points last year than the Patriots defense. OK, let's re-calibrate here. They have an AVERAGE defense, and Larry Fitzgerald is good, but well....

Skelton tells @dpshow he was told early don't overthrow @larryfitzgerald cuz he's sensitive about his speed.
— Kent Somers (@kentsomers) September 5, 2012

So...uh...yeah. I don't really have much more to say about that. The ONLY aspect of this game that slightly worries me, is special teams. Patrick Peterson is a beast; he tied the record for most punt return TDs in a season. However, my boy Nate Ebner (his rugby highlights are my porno) is ready to come in there and go beast mode all over Peterson and neutralize his ass. So yeah, my prediction: 38-10.